Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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