Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
please come you make the beer taste better
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
