you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
