I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
