Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
