Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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