There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize