you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
