I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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