3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
