im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
