Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
