You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
