so that wasnt chicken after all
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
