Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Randomize
