Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
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