she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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