I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
You smell like stripper and shame
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
