Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
and she was petting her beer can
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
