I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
