I wannas sexs uuuuu
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
