You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
