Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
