We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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