I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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