i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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