im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
