i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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