bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
