Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
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thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
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marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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