I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
