My boss' voice literally gives me gas
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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