It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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