Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize