your room smells of hookers.
And success
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize