dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
my poor anus
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
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