Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
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He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
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My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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