How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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