Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
