my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
