it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
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