Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
ttyl tear gas
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
