watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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