if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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