i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
