So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
