i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
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Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
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It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
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