While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
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