Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
