I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
