LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
