Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
