Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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