why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
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