I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
