just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
