i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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