yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
The uberlube is also flammable
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
