im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
